Where I belong
by The stars are colliding
Summary: AH. Alice gives Jasper a reason to believe. Jasper brings Alice joy. But is it enough?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N. So my account was hacked, so I am having to re-upload everything. Review if you want more, please. **

Prologue

**Alice's POV **

I cringe, shrinking down further into the chair, trying to divert my eyes anywhere other than the questioning ones of the school secretary.

"What piece of literature did you study last year?"

"Have you been to multiple schools, or was you always at Biloxi High School?"

"Were you taking AP calculus as well as Biology…?"

_I don't know. I don't know I don't Know I don't know._

I don't know even when my birthday is, or exactly how old I am. How am I meant to answer these questions?

I automatically lift my cool fingertips to massage my temples, as the intense pounding in my head increases with each and every question. I try and manage a smile in the general direction of the secretary, but my betraying eyes are growing hot, filling with despair. She was not making my enrolling any easier. And it was only half eight.

How on earth was I going to manage a whole 6 hours of questions? It's bad enough having to ask myself these questions, let alone actually having to make up answers for my new curious class mates. I don't even know my real name.

"Please, can I just get my timetable?" I whisper.

Great first impression, Alice.

**Jaspers POV**

"Calm it Jasper" Theron mumbles from the passenger seat of my banged up car. "You know I am only the messenger, man."

I have to grip the steering wheel with such force I can feel it straining under my fingers, just to stop myself lashing out at him.

School is always a disaster. I turn up pissed at Rex for making me go, I get pissed having to endure constant stares from my peers, I get pissed having to sit and listen to the teacher go on about something I really could not care less about. And then I piss of the headmaster. Who calls John. Who gets pissed at me. And that's all I need.

"I cant do it." I manage to spit out through my clenched teeth.

We both know I don't have a choice. You do what Rex says. Rex aka the King; and that is exactly what he is. The King of the Gang. His name even means King. And he never lets us forget it.

I feel slightly guilty for being a bitch to Theron, and send an apologetic glance towards him. Theron's Rex's right hand man; but probably the most decent one of the lot, he was the one who introduced me to Rex when I was hanging on the streets, getting beaten up by whoever fancied using me as a punch bag that day. The gang is the closest thing I have to family.

I lower my foot more onto the gas pedal, swinging it round carelessly into the car park, slamming the brakes on when seeing two girls stood in the middle of the road, there face's drained white as we came to halt inches from them.

Crap.

Theron bursts out laughing, doubling over at the sight of one of the girls tripping as they ran to get out of my way. I force a smirk, though my heart is beating so hard in my chest, like the wings of a caged bird longing to escape.

Welcome back, Jasper.

**ReviewReviewReview PleasePleasePlease xoxo**


	2. Chapter 2

**Review? xox**

Alice POV.

I leave the school office with tears still stinging my eyes and a bunch of forms the secretary gave me to fill out before the end of the day. The courtyard is practically empty, because I arrived early to enrol myself first. I sit down on a nearby bench so I can sort through the papers. The first is a school map. If I memorize it now, it means I won't need to keep pulling it out my bag all day like some sort of school tourist. Today I want to remain inconspicuous. The map shouldn't be too difficult to remember either; Forks High School seems tiny, only made up by a few old buildings, thank god.

After looking at it for a couple of minutes, I put it away in my bag and look at the next sheet, a form headlined "Personal Information." My heart sinks.

"What is your medical history?"

_I don't know._

"Are you allergic to anything?"

_I don't know_.

"Where is your birthplace?"

_I don't know._

I self consciously run my fingers through my hair, wishing it was long enough to hide behind, so I could hide from all the questions. Glancing up, I see a boy walking towards me, I try and make myself look busy; dipping my head down, pretending to be studying the form... But this just seems to encourage him. Why can't the ground just open up and swallow me?

"Hey! I'm Eric, the eyes and ears of this place" he says, a cocky smile plastered on his face, "if you need anything, I'm your man." I don't answer. He continues anyway, unfazed. "Your name's Alice?" I nod my head slightly, avoiding eye contact.

Please go away.

The moment I woke up, my whole world came crashing down. It's Ironic, really. I remembered how to read, to talk, I remembered how to walk, I remembered most of the things which I could have relearned with time... But I lost everything which is impossible to ever relearn, no matter how much time I have. You can never relearn lost memories. I lost everything important. After three weeks of being in the hospital, one of the nurse's suggested that I chose a name for myself. According to her, she and the other nurses were fed up of referring to me as "Jane Doe" and thought it might help cheer me up a little. She said that I could choose any name at all for myself, and that she would have given anything to be able to do the same. Would she of given up all her memories in exchange? Doubt it.

After that, the nurse's began to bring in books filled with baby names. Some even circled their favourites. They were so excited. Apparently I was the most interesting thing to happen to the ward in a long while. I spent days and nights pouring through the books, praying that I would see a name and bam, it would trigger something and everything would come flooding back to me. Everyday it hurt more. I felt constantly bruised on the inside, like everything was missing from within me and I was just this hollow body.

The one thing worse than forgetting is the abandonment, the loneliness. I didn't want to choose my own name, because it meant letting go of whoever I was before I woke up. No one came for me. What sort of horrible person must I of been? What had I done to be so alone? Everybody has somebody. Everybody has a mother, a father, a sibling… they have a friend, a babysitter or a neighbour. I must have been evil. Why did no one ever come for me? It wouldn't have been hard, I mean, all of the hospitals and police had my details. If someone looked for me, they would have found me easily. Why didn't anybody look for me? If I chose a name, it was admitting that no one was coming for me. That's why I couldn't pick a name. I couldn't let go.

I still hadn't chosen a name two weeks later, when I was told I was allowed to leave the hospital. I hadn't been deemed as mentally unstable so I was being set up in a half-way house. I had been stuck confided within the four walls of my hospital room for over a month. It was all I knew. How could I just leave? I knew no one. I had nothing. I hadn't even seen sunlight before. I was terrified; I broke down in sobs for the first time since I had woken up. One of the doctors, Carlisle, who was one of the ones who had to carry out one of the endless tests to determine my mental health, came to me that evening. I was still broken, not attempting to hide the tears falling down my cheeks. He said before I had to go out into the real world, I would need to hear a story. He sat in a chair beside my bed and began.

_"Alice was beginning to get very tired of sitting by her sister on the riverbank, and of having nothing to do: once or twice she had peeped into the book her sister was reading, but it had no pictures or conversations in it, 'and what is the use of a book', thought Alice, 'without pictures or conversation?"_

His voice was strong but musical, and I was caught from the very first page. He read without stopping for the whole night, and I just lay, listening, without interrupting.

When he had finished, he took my hand in his. Every tired cell disappeared from my body as I gazed into his eyes. They were blue, a pale blue, the colour of ice, although they were so warm and welcoming. A sense of security engulfed me. He said that I reminded him of Alice, and therefore he knew everything would be okay because I was strong. He said the world outside my hospital room was my own personal wonderland; it would be challenging, it would test my beliefs, sometimes I will want to just give up. But he believed I would be absolutely fine. His words melted over me, and as my eyes closed in exhaustion I knew from that night onwards, I was Alice.

"Hey, earth to Alice!" Laughs Eric, interrupting my thoughts, I smile apologetically for suddenly zoning out, but turn and begin walking in the direction I think my calculus class is. "What's your first lesson?" He presses. He obviously didn't take the hint.

I sigh; I know I can't reply without speaking.

"Calculus" I smile.

"Me, too, but it's this way." He laughs again, placing his hands my shoulders to turn and face me the right direction. I cringe against his touch. "So, Alice... Where you originally from? "

"Uh...Biloxi" I reply. Please don't ask anything else. My heart is pounding abnormally fast, and my chest is tightening, making it difficult to breathe.

"Biloxi! I went fishing there! Why did you move? I would love to live there. The food is awesome, don't you think? And the weather is so much better there. It like, always rains here, doesn't it? Where about did you live?" Where did I live? Where did I live? "I know a few people from there actually. What city are you from? Did your parents stay there or come with you?"

Oh my god.

"Excuse me" I mumble, taking off in the other direction, my legs feeling so weak that I have no idea how they are keeping me up. I have no idea where I'm going. I have to get out of here. I can't do this. I struggle with the zip on my bag, fumbling for my phone. I can feel that my face is flushed and beads of sweat rest on my forehead, and my hands won't stop shaking. Grasping my phone I pull out my bag, hitting the first speed-dial button. It only rings twice before it's answered.

"Carlisle, please, I can't do it. Please...please come and get me." My voice trembles and I trip over my words.

"I'm on my way now, Alice" Carlisle replies immediately, and the line goes dead.

My body floods with relief at the sound of his voice, but I can't stop myself shaking. Why did I even try today? What's the point?

I start to head up the hill I reached, my legs suddenly buckling from beneath me, finally giving up. Why can't I just be normal? From the hill I can see the whole school. More people are starting to arrive now, hanging around the car park and I concentrate on a small group of boys, laughing and joking, acting like normal teenagers. My heart yearns in jealousy. Why me? What have I done to deserve this? One of the boys catches my eye. He has honey blonde hair, his form is thin, but he seems lean and strong at the same time. When he turns, he see's me sat on the hill staring at him, and I know I should look away, but I can't. I can't stop looking. His face is a scowl, his jaw clenched, but his eyes flash with concern before turning cold and hard, making shivers run down my spine. He practically radiates bad; but yet, everything about him is so...beautiful. He breaks the eye connection, turning when one of the other boys calls him. How can one person possibly be so angry? What on earth is so bad to have a look of hell on your face? They start walking towards a building, but he throws me once last glance over his shoulder before entering the door, with a smile playing on his lips.

My view is blocked as a silver car pulls up on the road in front of me, Carlisle.

**A/N If you enjoyed this chapter, please review. They give me inspiration :-) xoxo**


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